Are Kids With Divorced Parents Worse Off?
By Lorren Wright, Clinical Psychologist
Not necessarily. Australian studies show that most children from separated families continue to develop well and enjoy healthy relationships and good educational outcomes.
While some research has found small differences — such as slightly lower Year 12 completion rates among children of divorced parents — these gaps are better explained by family conflict, financial stress and disruption, not the separation itself.
Census data also shows that around one in six Australian families with dependent children are single-parent households. This reflects a changing family landscape, not necessarily disadvantage.
Children who experience a stable, supportive home life — whether that’s with one parent or two — tend to do just as well as their peers in the long term. The greatest risk factor is exposure to ongoing parental conflict, not family structure.
Can Kids Thrive After Divorce?
Yes — and most do. Studies from Australia and overseas show that around 80% of children of divorce adapt well over time. They maintain close relationships with both parents and experience normal levels of social and emotional wellbeing.
Children are remarkably resilient when their needs are prioritised. The ingredients for positive adjustment include:
Low parental conflict
Consistent routines and predictability
Open communication and emotional warmth
Feeling heard and loved by both parents
When these conditions are met, divorce can even foster strengths such as independence, flexibility, and empathy. Many children develop a deeper understanding of relationships and compassion for others through these experiences.
What Divorce Feels Like from a Child’s Perspective
Imagine you’re eight years old. You notice Mum and Dad are quieter lately. They don’t laugh as much. You overhear words you don’t understand — “separation,” “arrangements.” One day, your parents sit you down and tell you that things will be different. You nod, but inside you feel scared, confused, maybe even guilty.
Children don’t have the language adults do to describe loss or change, so their distress often appears as worry, anger, or clinginess. What helps most is reassurance and predictability. Hearing, “This isn’t your fault. We both love you, and that will never change” provides an anchor during uncertainty.
How Parents Can Help
Parents can make an enormous difference to how children cope after separation. A few guiding principles:
Keep conflict away from the children. Disagreements should be handled privately and respectfully.
Maintain routines and consistency between homes — bedtime, school routines and expectations should feel familiar.
Communicate openly at a level appropriate to the child’s age. Offer reassurance and repeat it often.
Support emotional expression. Let children know that it’s okay to feel sad or angry. Validate rather than dismiss.
Seek support early if your child’s distress doesn’t ease over time.
When Professional Support Can Help
If your child is experiencing ongoing sadness, anxiety, changes in sleep or appetite, school refusal, or trouble managing anger following separation, it may be time to seek professional support.
At Insightful Minds Psychology in Erina, our child psychologist Arthi works with children aged six years and older to help them make sense of their emotions, strengthen coping skills, and rebuild a sense of safety and self-confidence.
We also work closely with family law professionals and schools to ensure that children receive consistent, holistic care across all areas of their lives.
A Final Word
Divorce is a major life transition — but it doesn’t have to be a trauma. When handled with empathy, respect and structure, separation can offer children a model of resilience, emotional honesty, and healthy change.
If you or your clients are navigating family separation and want to ensure children receive the right emotional support, please reach out.
At Insightful Minds, we’re here to help children not just cope with change — but thrive through it.